Boss Make Party Every Year

No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

Me: Can you recommend some good inspirational books for web design?

Boss: I've always felt that Animal Farm was inspiring. Clockwork Orange is probably better for web design though.

Me: Um, this is really ignorant but I didn't know Clockwork Orange was a book.

Boss: Anthony Burghess, 1956. Can I call you ignoranus for the rest of the day because you didn't know that? I just coined that expression, by the way. "Ignoranus." It's quite clever.

So he sent me a picture of his Q-Tips.

Boss: We're still within budget though and they seem happy with us.

Me: You're amazing!

Boss: I'm blushing bright red and my finger is turning black.

Me: Imagine if instead of just your fingernail fell off, the whole thing did? Which finger is it?

Boss: Right index

Me: That would not be good

Boss: It would certainly make it harder to keep my ears clean.

I think I'll start a business out of my house and become a surreallist.

Boss's Email Subject: Zoo Child
Boss's Email Contents:

Strawberry Girl

I've always like the taste of blood.

"This ship is going down. I'd rather be a shark than a body."

Freudian Slip?

Me: [looking at website on boss' computer] What's a RamJet? Is it like a fighter jet made of biceps? Or perhaps some sort of powerful printer?

Boss: It's my nickname. Actually, my nickname is Blow Jet. Oops. I meant to say Blowfish.

While twirling around holding his petticoats.

[Singing Merrily]

"Alouette, gentille Alouette. Alouette, je te plumerai..."