Down came the good fairy, and she said...

Me: What's the password, again?

Boss: FooFoo5

Me: No it's not. You know about Little Bunny Foo Foo, right?

Boss: Fine. It's "123456".

Me: She went hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.

Boss: I did that in Iceland once...but with seal pups....we used little bats (not the animals) for the head bopping (it was more like skull crushing actually)...it was fun, although expensive (everything is in Iceland, a beer cost like 10 bucks). I met Bjork too.

Boss Make Party Every Year

No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

Me: Can you recommend some good inspirational books for web design?

Boss: I've always felt that Animal Farm was inspiring. Clockwork Orange is probably better for web design though.

Me: Um, this is really ignorant but I didn't know Clockwork Orange was a book.

Boss: Anthony Burghess, 1956. Can I call you ignoranus for the rest of the day because you didn't know that? I just coined that expression, by the way. "Ignoranus." It's quite clever.

So he sent me a picture of his Q-Tips.

Boss: We're still within budget though and they seem happy with us.

Me: You're amazing!

Boss: I'm blushing bright red and my finger is turning black.

Me: Imagine if instead of just your fingernail fell off, the whole thing did? Which finger is it?

Boss: Right index

Me: That would not be good

Boss: It would certainly make it harder to keep my ears clean.

I think I'll start a business out of my house and become a surreallist.

Boss's Email Subject: Zoo Child
Boss's Email Contents:

Strawberry Girl

I've always like the taste of blood.

"This ship is going down. I'd rather be a shark than a body."

Freudian Slip?

Me: [looking at website on boss' computer] What's a RamJet? Is it like a fighter jet made of biceps? Or perhaps some sort of powerful printer?

Boss: It's my nickname. Actually, my nickname is Blow Jet. Oops. I meant to say Blowfish.