I've always like the taste of blood.

"This ship is going down. I'd rather be a shark than a body."

Freudian Slip?

Me: [looking at website on boss' computer] What's a RamJet? Is it like a fighter jet made of biceps? Or perhaps some sort of powerful printer?

Boss: It's my nickname. Actually, my nickname is Blow Jet. Oops. I meant to say Blowfish.

While twirling around holding his petticoats.

[Singing Merrily]

"Alouette, gentille Alouette. Alouette, je te plumerai..."

And we're back on the Holocaust.

Me: I'm concerned about the economy.

Boss: I don't think about it. I think about happy things. Like bunnies and dolphins and unicorns and Santa. And Mexico. And Berlin.

Me: Did you know there is a shortage of Santas this year in Germany? They are having trouble finding them because of criminal records and such.

Boss: Aren't most Germans war criminals?

Me: [Groan] I see where this is going.

Boss: [Grinning] I was watching this WWII documentary with my daughter the other day...

It would also be easier to carry around on my long neck.

Boss: I wish my head was smaller.

Me: Why's that?

Boss: So I could where this as a hat. [With long bowl made of lug nuts on his head]. There are so many uses for having a smaller head.

Co-worker: Like burrowing. It's easier to burrow with a smaller head.

Boss: I love that idea!

While discussing brand standards.

"I'm pretending to be a blowfish."

And he looked so proud of himself for coming up with this.

Me: You've been fixated on rubix cubes for awhile.

Boss: That's true. But I am fixated on many things. Such as Cambodian boys.

Me: Oh Lord. Dare I ask why?

Boss: Because they are so masculine and feminine at the same time. Don't you think?

Me: You are sick.